


Too drunk to fuck

by Renmiriffx



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: College Parties, Drinking, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, First Meetings, Flirting, I can't even, I did, I'm not sorry tho, M/M, Ohgod this is fucked up, and stupid, crack!fic, incriminating pictures, juvenile behaviour, seriously this is so silly, so try to have some, supposed to be fun, the day after, title says it all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-11
Updated: 2016-03-11
Packaged: 2018-05-26 02:11:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6219568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renmiriffx/pseuds/Renmiriffx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College party and a gorgeous flirty ginger and way too much to drink.</p><p>Mickey is too busy trying to get drunk as fast as he possibly can (and he’s doing a fantastic job so far), to notice someone creeping behind him.</p><p>“Hey,” Someone says, tapping him on the shoulder.</p><p>Mickey’s head jerks up, he looks around with a fairly stupid look on his face. No one ever talks to him, unless they want something from him. He doesn’t blame them, he likes it that way. It isn’t like he makes it easy for them either. Dressing up like the dirty white boy he is, never putting on any cologne (he showers if he remembers, fuck he cares, body spray works just fine.) Knuckle tattoos, frown practically glued on his face and that ever so pleased, happy to help—attitude, always colored with a thousand cuss words.</p><p>“Fuck you want?” His eyes meet up with the fucktard who dares to disturb him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Too drunk to fuck

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, I'm not dead (haven't been absent for this long since I started writing for this pair)
> 
> 1\. This is so forced, that it's probably utter shit  
> 2\. Sorry for typos and grammar errors.  
> 3\. Leave me some love cuties ~<3~  
> 4\. I don't bite, not hard anyways ;)

College parties… Mickey knows how he ended up there and why, but he really doesn’t want to be there. “Come on Mickey, it will be fun, it’s part of the college experience, pa-party! Saddle up big bro, we are going to get wasted, off our tits, well you don’t have a pair of those, but you get what I’m saying!” His delightful sister had said with a mad giggle. Fuck does Mickey care? He ain’t the one going to college, ain’t his experience Mandy’s talking about, but his sister can be persistence, faking those tears, pleading like her life depends on it, she’s going to make a terrific lawyer someday, that’s something Mickey can bet his life on.

And like always, Mandy disappeared within the first twenty minutes, typical Mandy Milkovich. Why she feels compelled to drag Mickey along when she clearly doesn’t need him there. Well she does come running and screaming if some creep tries to get into her pants. And then Mickey is more than glad to help, nothing like a good fight fueled by alcohol. Otherwise these so called parties are a bore, and fucking no one can go through them sober, so that’s where you will find Mickey, leaning against the beer keg, trying to drown on beer and vodka, hiding behind that stupid red cup.

Mickey is too busy trying to get drunk as fast as he possibly can (and he’s doing a fantastic job so far), to notice someone creeping behind him.

“Hey,” Someone says, tapping him on the shoulder.

Mickey’s head jerks up, he looks around with a fairly stupid look on his face. No one ever talks to him, unless they want something from him. He doesn’t blame them, he likes it that way. It isn’t like he makes it easy for them either. Dressing up like the dirty white boy he is, never putting on any cologne (he showers if he remembers, fuck he cares, body spray works just fine.) Knuckle tattoos, frown practically glued on his face and that ever so pleased, happy to help—attitude, always colored with a thousand cuss words.

“Fuck you want?” His eyes meet up with the fucktard who dares to disturb him.

But it ain’t what Mickey expects. It, he’s a tall freckly-ass boy (or a man, depends how you wanna put it) with ginger hair and fuck Mickey for even thinking about it, but a fucking beautiful smirk. Because that’s exactly what it is, it ain’t a smile or a scared face that Mickey is so accustomed with.

As the boy cracks a chuckle, biting his lower lip, Mickey asks again, “What’s ya fucking smirking about?”

“You don’t belong here, do you? What you studying?”

“Fucks it to you?”

“Well when you’re graduating?”

“Right now I’m trying to graduate with 4.0 alcohol level. Fuck off Raggedy Ann.”

Another chuckle, and Mickey’s a bit mindfucked (partly cause of the booze), he can’t quite wrap this around his head, that fucking boy ain’t intimidated one bit by him and that’s unusual for Mickey.

“Seriously? Raggedy Ann? That’s all you got? I’m telling you man, that’s lame,” The guy laughs, shaking his head lightly.

“Beat it firecrotch,” Mickey snarls to the guy.

“Haven’t heard that in a while,” They guy chuckles, tongue wetting his lips, “So what, you wanna see if the carpet matches the drapes?”

Jesus fucking Christ, not that Mickey ain’t finding the guy attracting, because he fucking is, but he’s waaaay too sober for this shit. Flirting with a guy, out in the open, in a college party. Not that he actually minds, it’s pretty rare that someone hits on him, and fuck if he doesn’t like it.

“You offering?” Mickey finds himself asking. (Okay maybe he ain’t that sober, bringing his flask filled with pure vodka, yet again to his lips.) Still he mentally facepalms himself.

“You curious?”

“You always answers question with a question?”

“Do you?” Mickey raises his eyebrows up to the roof.

“Depends,” The guy says with a teasing voice.

“On what?”

“If I find you interesting enough,” The guy smirks.

If that ain’t a dare then Mickey doesn’t know what is. Someone might pin it down as contempt, but right now Mickey is hella interested in this guy, annoyance aside. Is he interested getting inside those black fell-fitting jeans or just merely teasing the shit out of the guy, he isn’t quite sure yet. All he knows, he ain’t bored now.

“Is that right?” Mickey smirks back, “Well tell me _boy_ ,” He leans a bit closer, “What ya think then?”

“You’re definitely something else, that much I’m sure,” He grabs the flask from Mickey and gulps down.

“You’re fucking arrogant and stupid,” Mickey eyes the ginger as he drinks his booze.

“And you’re loving it, ain’t you?” He hands the flask back.

“Depends…” Mickey teases.

“On what?” The ginger smirks.

“How far you’re willing to go.”

“How you feel about having some fun?” Mickey whispers.

The guy slips one of his fingers in Mickey’s belt loop and tugs him closer, “What kind of fun we are talking about?”

“Annoying some rich-ass college kids?”

“That gets me home with you?” Ginger raises seductively his eyebrows, a smiling dancing on his lips.

Mickey closes the remaining distance between them, he tilts his head like he’s going in for a kiss, but his lips brush just past the ginger’s lips (who bites his lips and lets out a short sigh.) Mickey tugs his earlobe with his teeth instead, breathing hotly into the ginger’s ear, “Maybe.”

“You want me to woo you? Make you impressed or some shit?” The ginger boy smiles.

“You think this ass comes for free? You gotta work for it.”

“Then lead the way maestro and gimme the flask, I’m thinking this requires some heavy drinking,”

“Now you’re singing my song,” Mickey chuckles.

“I’m Ian by the way,” The guy says.

“Nah, I like firecrotch better. I’m Mickey.”

“So what you had in mind then?”

 

* * *

 

Mickey wakes on the floor, his back hurts like a son of a bitch, he glances around. He’s home at his flat, but why the fuck is he on the floor. He hears light mumbling next to him. Under the covers, there gleams a red head. So Mickey managed to get the guy home, but why doesn’t he feel the delicious burn on his ass then? And why is he still wearing last night’s clothes? Minus the shirt. Mickey looks around, but doesn’t see his shirt anywhere near him.

“Fucking hell,” He mumbles.

“Oh, the prince of misdemeanors is awake,” His sister calls from the kitchen.

Slowly getting up, Mickey asks, “What’s the time?”

“Noon, sleepyheads.”

“There any coffee?”

“Half a pot.”

Rubbing his head, Mickey wobbles to the kitchen and slumps next to his sister.

“I suppose you don’t know what happened last night?”

Mandy smiles, trying to contain her laughter.

“I know plenty.”

“Mind sharing with the rest of us?” The ginger, Ian, also joined in. “Morning,” He yawns, searching a mug from the kitchen cabinets like he lives there. He fills up two and hands the other to Mickey, sitting on the empty chair next to him, tossing his feet on Mickey’s lap.

“Ay!” Mickey yells, but gets nothing but a shrug in return, “Get your feet off my lap, you dirty fiend!”

“I can come and sit on your lap if that’s better?” He says, making Mandy giggle.

“He’s even worse than you,” Mandy says to Mickey.

“Cocky son of a bitch, fine, keep your feet there, but ain’t giving you no fucking foot massage,” He snarls.

“Haven’t I earned it?” Ian smirks, “I think? Back to the subject in hand, what happened last night?” He turns to Mandy. “I’m Ian FYI, haven’t I seen you around?”

“Mandy, numbfucks sister, “ She points Mickey, “And yeah, I think we have one English class together.

“Spill the beans bitch,” Mickey practically orders his sister.

“Better yet I show you some pictures,” She smiles widely.

“There’s pictures? Oh god,” Mickey rubs his face.

Mandy digs her phone up and walks behind the pair of hangover champions.

“This is the first one,” She says, “Here you are having a drinking contest with some poor freshman, who is about to vomit.”

“That ain’t so bad,” Mickey says.

“And here you are, drawing mustaches on passed out people, may I say, very adult like behavior. I’m guessing your alcohol level is up to 3.0.”

“And here you are having a fight with someone over a slice of pizza.”

“That’s like a normal Friday night,” Mickey says.

“If you are sixteen,” Mandy reminds him, “What I know you’re 21 Mickey.”

“And that’s Ian flexing out his muscles like he’s Adonis.”

Mickey looks at the picture and then Ian, “Not bad.”

“Well thank you, I’m flattered,” Ian nods, not nearly as embarrassed as he should be.

“And my dear brother this is you pretending a seal apparently.”

“Still not so bad, wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I said I wanted to have some fun, but ain’t that bad.”

“Oh but I saved the best for last, this is you guys trying to make soft core internet porn.” Mandy shows them a picture of a heavy (shirtless) make-out session between Ian and Mickey, hogging one loveseat to themselves, sucking on each other like leeches. “Seen enough?” Mandy asks.

“I think so…” Mickey sheepishly says.

“And after that you we kicked out, and I had to escort you home, where you tried to continue having sex with lousy results, yours truly being glad as hell, then you passed out on the floor. And your sister, may I remind you how much you should fucking love me, covered you with a blanket.”

“Okay that didn’t go as planned I’ll give you that, but I’ve done worse and you know it,” Mickey says.

“Yeah you might, but has he?” Mandy nods towards Ian.

“Don’t worry about me, I’m not some squeaky clean college boy, I’ve had my days.”

“Is that right?” Mickey asks, “Now I’m kinda interested.”

“Buy me breakfast first and I’ll tell you all about it.”

“Dick or ass?” Mickey teases.

“Oh my fucking god, you’re impossible!” Mandy slams the table, “I don’t need to hear this.” And she leaves the kitchen.

“How about both?” Ian rubs his toes against Mickey’s dick.

“That can be arranged.”

“But I do require some actual breakfast first.

“Fucking princess,” Mickey snorts.

**Author's Note:**

> Vaguely inspired [by this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJ7pgElCPXE/%20)
> 
> So I might take some time off from writing (I dunno, might post a birthday fic, since mine is coming up in two weeks) because I've got way too much shit to deal with, and even this piece was so forced. Nevertheless, I ain't going nowhere, I just might be absent for awhile. 
> 
> I'm here [ renmiriffx](http://renmiriffx.tumblr.com/)


End file.
